I don’t even want to use his credit card.

Five. That’s the number of cigarettes I’ve smoked since August 21st.

“Standard” is what R. called my “trim new hotness” (in his own words).

6.6. Was my most recent – and best ever – Hemoglobin A1c.

€14.95 is how much I have in my chequing account.

Everything is going well in terms of health, happiness, even fitness. It’s “rich” that is giving me the most trouble this fall.

As it’s been over a year since I founded my own business, I wanted to start pursuing freelance jobs more strategically this fall, instead of living week to week off of jobs I get through no effort of my own. When Ramit Sethi opened his Earn1K course again, I thought it was a sign that now was finally the right time to buy.

I’ve been taking investment advice from James Altucher recently, and he told me that when you don’t have that much capital, the best investment is to invest in yourself so that you can make more money, which will then hopefully be enough to invest according to the strategy I bought from his mailing list.

So I bought Earn1K. As an investment in myself.

I’ve been wanting to be in Earn1K since I started reading Ramit’s blog back in 2010. First I didn’t qualify because of my credit card debt, and then I bought ZTL instead (probably prematurely) in February 2014, but this was my moment.

Why do I feel as stuck as ever?

Is it because I’m not actually interested in providing my service?

I don’t think it’s because I’m just lazy and anti-social, though it’s hard not to tell myself that with so little money in the bank and so little on my calendar coming up.

For the last three mornings, I’ve hit snooze and gone back to sleep for an hour after my original alarm. I don’t feel excited or any urgency to get out of bed. Even today, when I had work to do that was due back “in the morning” I wasn’t excite to get it done.

What would create that excitement?

I would jump out of bed for meetings with people I was excited to get to know, or who I had been working on a project with. I would jump out of bed to fix an urgent problem.

I’d jump out of bed to do something time sensitive, I guess, maybe I just need higher stakes.

I’d definitely jump out of bed if it meant that I’d be shopping or putting outfits together, buying new things (clothes, accessories, furniture, art, I don’t even care).

That last one could mean shopping as part of my job or as a consequence of my income.

I just want to stop counting my Euros, depending on Richard to cover both of our vacation expenses, dinners, groceries, etc.

I am in good health, for which I am grateful. I am working out, taking care of myself, of which I am proud. I am trying to do what is good for me, to feel grateful when I am happy, and to seek out more of what makes me so.

Now I just have to keep my nose down and pointed in the right direction.

When you get frustrated, don’t give up, just change tactics.

Back to Earn1K to make sure I’ve absorbed everything in the course so far.






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